When Words Hurt: The Lasting Impact of Panlalait sa Katawan on Confidence and Mental Health

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When Words Hurt: The Lasting Impact of Panlalait sa Katawan on Confidence and Mental Health

“Ang taba mo na.”
“Uy, tumaba ka.”
“Dati mas payat ka, anong nangyari?”

In many Filipino conversations, comments like these are thrown around casually. They're often meant as jokes or observations, harmless, even affectionate. But for the person on the receiving end, these words can cut deep and leave lasting scars.


This is “panlalait sa katawan” a form of body shaming that may be common in daily life, butis never harmless. Let’s talk about how these seemingly small comments affect confidence, mental health, and our relationship with our bodies.

1. Panlalait sa Katawan and the Normalization of Shame

In Filipino culture, teasing is often seen as normal or even caring. But when comments revolve around someone’s body, they do more harm than good.
They send the message that:

  • You’re only valuable if you fit certain beauty standards.

  • Gaining weight means something’s wrong with you.

  • Your body is open for public opinion.

Over time, this kind of shaming can affect the way someone sees themselves and how much they believe they deserve.

2. The Silent Damage to Confidence

Hearing frequent remarks like “ang taba mo” or “tumaba ka” can cause:

  • Insecurity: You become self-conscious about how others perceive your body.

  • Fear of being seen: You avoid photos, gatherings, or even wearing what you like.

  • Shame-based motivation: You push yourself to change out of guilt, not self-love.

  • Loss of identity: You begin to feel like your worth is tied only to your looks.

Little by little, your confidence erodes, not because of your body, but because of how others talk about it.

3. Panlalait sa Katawan Ignores the Bigger Picture

People often assume weight gain is the result of laziness, overeating, or not caring about health. But that’s far from the full story.

Many people gain weight due to:

  • Health conditions like thyroid disorders, PCOS, or hormonal imbalances

  • Mental health struggles such as anxiety and depression, which affect sleep, appetite, and activity levels

  • Medications like antidepressants, mood stabilizers, or steroids, which can cause water retention, appetite changes, or slower metabolism

  • Genetics and body type—some people naturally carry weight differently, even with a healthy lifestyle

📌 Some people eat well, exercise regularly, and still gain weight because their body is responding to something beyond their control.

Panlalait sa katawan dismisses all of that. It overlooks the silent battles people are facing. It assumes. It judges. It hurts.

4. The Hurt Hits Deeper When It’s From Family

It hurts more when the panlalait comes from someone close like a parent, sibling, or friend.
These are the people we hope will love us unconditionally, not judge or label us.

When their words criticize our bodies, it can feel like love is conditional, that we’ll only be accepted if we look a certain way. That pain cuts deep and stays longer.

5. Love Yourself—Fat, Thin, or Anywhere In Between

Here’s the truth:
💖 You deserve love, whether you’re fat, thin, curvy, muscular, or somewhere in between.
💖 Your body is not a mistake. It carries your story. It shows your strength.
💖 You are not obligated to shrink yourself to make others comfortable.

You are worthy right now, as you are.

Self-love isn’t about waiting until you “get better” or “look better.” It’s about choosing to be kind to yourself today, even if you’re still healing.

Say it with me:

“I am worthy of love and kindness, just as I am.”

6. How to Protect Your Peace and Heal

If you’ve been hurt by body shaming, here are some ways to start healing:

🛑 Set boundaries

You’re allowed to say: “That comment wasn’t helpful.” Protecting your peace is not being sensitive, it’s being strong.

💬 Change your inner voice

Replace harsh self-talk with compassion. Instead of “I hate my body,” try “My body deserves care, not criticism.”

🤝 Find safe spaces

Surround yourself with people who uplift you and speak kindly. Let go of relationships that drain your confidence.

✨ Celebrate your body

Wear the clothes you love. Move in ways that feel good. Care for your body because it supports you, not because you need to earn anyone’s approval.

💭 A Moment to Reflect

Before you go, take a breath and ask yourself:

  • Have I ever been hurt by someone’s comment about my body?
    Have I allowed myself to heal from that pain?

  • Do I sometimes judge myself based on how I look?
    What if I treated myself with compassion instead?

  • Have I unintentionally made someone feel small with my words?
    How can I be more mindful next time?

  • Am I waiting to love myself "once I lose weight" or "look better"?
    What would it look like to love myself now?

You don’t need all the answers right now. But asking these questions is a powerful first step.

Final Thoughts

Let’s stop pretending panlalait sa katawan is harmless.
Let’s stop tying someone’s worth to their weight.
Let’s start building a world where everyone feels safe in their own skin.

You are more than your appearance.
You are more than what others say.
You are enough. You’ve always been enough.


If this spoke to you, you’re not alone. I share more honest stories, gentle reminders, and real talk about mental health, self-worth, and finding peace at your own pace.

Follow me for more! let’s grow together, one step at a time.

Location: Canada

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